Scarred Love
by icemonster56
Summary: The conversation between Sam and Emily where Emily got her scars.
1. Conversations

Chapter 1: Conversations

Emily POV

"What do you want, Sam?" I asked him, looking up from my book. Earlier that week Sam Uley dumped Leah Clearwater, my second cousin but practically my sister. And now he says he wants me instead. I don't think so. I would never do that to Leah, she loved him so much.

"Will you just talk to me?" He asked.

"What's there to talk about? I'm not getting together with you, you broke Leah's heart, that's unforgiveable.

He sighed. "Can you just let me explain?"

Now I was getting angry. "No." I growled.

"Please just come walk with me. We don't have to talk if you really don't want to."

I sighed angrily and looked down, putting my bookmark in and standing up. "Fine, but I'm not happy about this."

He grinned. "That's fine, I'll take what I can get." He led me to the back of the house where the forest was. Everyone who lived around here knew the forests well, especially those who have grown up around this area, La Push. That's not me though. I had no idea where we were once we got past view of the house. I was only visiting Leah from my Makah tribe. Sam seemed to know where we were going though.

We walked for about 30 minutes before Sam stopped and turned to me. I abruptly stopped too, glaring at him. He gave me a pained look.

"So how have you been?" He asked. I just glared. Was this a joke to him? "I really do care. I want you to be happy."

My glaring just continued.

"What about Leah? How has she been?" He asked, hesitant.

"How do you think?" I responded, my voice acidic.

"I want her to be happy too. I just can't be apart of her happiness. I'm very sorry for that, I'm sorry I hurt her."

"Don't tell me that. Tell her."

"She…won't let me talk to her."

"Well, neither would I, if I were in her shoes." I said, more to myself than to him.

"Yes, well, I didn't want a walk with you so we could talk about my short-comings with Leah. I actually had a different agenda for this conversation." He said formally.

"Oh? And what would that be?" I was trying to be understanding. This couldn't be easy for him, having to explain himself this way to me, someone he's hardly met. Under normal circumstances I would have felt sorry for him. It wasn't my fault these weren't exactly normal circumstances.

He paused, so long that I didn't think he was going to answer. "I don't want to scare you." He said softly.

"You don't scare me. Why the hell would you scare me?" I spat back.

"Please don't hate me." He said even softer.

"You killed Leah inside and you expect me not to hate you, especially while you ask me to be your girlfriend?! That's not possible, Sam!" I screamed. I don't usually get this angry but seriously, how could he do that to Leah?

Sam seemed to slightly shake.

"Let me explain." He said barely audible.

I just nodded. I would let him talk. It was pointless but he wouldn't leave me alone until I let him.

"Like I said, I don't want to scare you. But I have to make you understand. I did love Leah. Very much. And I know I broke all the promises that I ever made her. But that doesn't matter anymore. Not since I met you."

I looked incredulously at him. "That doesn't matter anymore? How could you say that? How could it not matter?"

"Because I met you."

"What the hell does that have anything to do with it?!" I screamed taking a few steps closer until I was and inch from his face.

"Because I love you." He replied simply but he was shaking more at this point than before.

I just stayed where I was glaring at him. "Tough."

The shaking increased immensely but after a minute he seemed to calm down.

"I imprinted on you. It was out of my control." He said.

"What the hell is imprinting?!"

"I…I'm…a…uh…I'm…a…were-…wolf." He struggled.

"What?" I didn't understand.

"I'm…a…werewolf." He said more clearly.

"A…werewolf?" I was still an inch from his face. Realizing this I took a step back.

My step back made his form shake more than I had seen it before. He dropped to the ground, still shaking.

"Sam?" I whispered, taking another step back, this time in fear. Why was I afraid? It's just Sam. I thought back to what he told me moments ago. He said he was a werewolf. Even if I believed that (which I did not), why would I be scared of him now? It's day, no full moon tonight. But still, the fear came and stayed. While I was thinking all this, all my instincts told me to run. Sam's form was blurring, changing. I was two tiny steps away from him. I turned to the right, slightly. Too late. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sam's blurring figure explode into dark black fur. _Fur_? At the same time I felt three deep gashes form on my left side, from my hairline to my left wrist. But I ignored the burning, fierce pain. I could only focus on the huge black wolf that now stood before me in Sam's place. I looked deeply into the wolf's eyes and saw a never ending pit of pain in them. The wolf howled a deep and painful howl. Then the wolf turned to run off but not before looking back at me for a split second, reading the expression on my face but I couldn't concentrate on what I saw there. The wolf turned and ran away.

I dropped to my knees, now letting the pain of my left side overtake me and pull me into complete darkness.


	2. Scars

**Disclaimer: I'm not Stephenie Meyer. I don't own any vampires or werewolves.**

Chapter 2: Scars

Emily POV

The agony blinded me. I must have been lying on the ground for at least an hour. The pain was diminishing excruciatingly slowly, but diminishing nonetheless. Periodically I would hear a pain-racked howl. By this time I knew it was Sam. Werewolf. He was a werewolf. I knew it was true but I still had a hard time believing it. Not only did I just find out that werewolves were real, but I knew one. And he was in love with me. Was he really? Could he be? But what about Leah? He said something about an "imprinting". My common sense told me he was using me, like he used Leah. But my heart told me that wasn't true. My heart told me he really did love me, like he really was a werewolf. Eventually I decided that at least he didn't have an ulterior motive, he wasn't using me. I wasn't sure about the whole "love" thing yet.

Through all these contemplations, I realized I had to get back to Leah's house. I tried to stand but collapsed. I tried again, successful this time. I looked down and was surprised by the amount of blood on the forest floor. Was that all mine? I looked back up to stare straight ahead and took one step forward. Wait. I turned around to face the opposite way, then took one step forward. No. That's not right either. I did a 360, slowly. It all looked the same. Great. Now how will I get back? I didn't think that I was _that_ far into the forest, how far could you get in half-an-hour.

_Pretty far_. I thought to myself. Especially going at Sam's pace I was practically jogging to keep up, I remembered. So how far is that? 2, 3 miles? So, I could go in a random direction, for about 2 miles hoping I was going the right way. But what if I'm not? What if I go the opposite way? Then I'd be at least 4 miles away! Injured!

Or I could just stay here. Wait until someone finds me

_Look around you, you're in the middle of the forest with no trails!_ But Sam seemed to know the area pretty well, he couldn't be the only one.

_Or maybe he is the only one because he didn't mean what he said. This was his plan._ I scoffed at my own thought. No. Sam wouldn't have a motive for doing that. Plus, if he wanted to kill me, he would have just done it, not injure me and wait for death to come _eventually._

_Maybe…_

So what do I do? Walk in a random direction and _hope_ it's the right one, or stay here and _hope_ someone will find me. Which one would make the most sense to do?

So far, staying was winning in my mind.

What really made me decide was I was getting dizzy again. No way I could hike 2 miles like this, not yet at least. I took off my jeans and, using a sharp rock I found, cut strips off of them, turning them into shorts that cut off just below the knee and put them back on. I tied one of these strips as high on my arm as possible and tightened it, turning it into a tourniquet, trying to slow the blood flow to my arm wounds. Using another strip, I tied it to my head diagonally, like a wide eye patch covering all the facial wounds, tight, putting as much pressure on it as possible.

Now, with my injuries taken care of as much as I could do, I had to start a fire.

I decided I would walk up to 100 yards away to look for dry fire wood.

And being on the coast of Washington, of course it has started raining. Drizzling at this point, but I've lived here long enough to know that it can turn into a downpour any minute. Okay, that means shelter first, then fire.

I'd stick to the 100 yard distance limit to search for large pieces of wood I could use for shelter.

I walked for about 10 minutes. That's when I found a cliff wall with a rock overhang. I ran under it where it was dry and sat down. That's when I heard something. Sobbing? I walked around to the corner of the cliff wall where I was out of sight.

Sam?

He looked up once I saw him. We just stared at each other for a very long, awkward yet strangely comfortable 10 minutes.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

"AAARG!" He stood up, angry but not shaking.

"What?" I asked. Was he mad at me?

"I'm sorry," He said quietly. "I'm mad at myself, not you."

"Why are you mad at yourself?" C'mon Emily, out of all the questions you have, you had to ask _that_ one?

He looked at me incredulously. "Because I did that to you." He motioned to my left side.

"Sam, it was an accident…wasn't it?" I hesitated. He immediately ran over to me and pulled me into a tight bear hug. I only winced slightly at the pain.

"Yes, of course it was an accident! I would never hurt you on purpose! I'll never hurt you again! I'll kill myself before I let any harm come to you again!" He squeezed me tighter after each sentence.

"…S-…Sam…b-…breathing…" I wheezed out. He immediately released me.

"Oh. I just broke me promise, didn't I?" He turned to the ground, depressed.

"No, no, Sam, I'm fine." He didn't seem any better. I laid my palm on his check and stroked it with my thumb. He closed his eyes and sighed. "Really, Sam, I'm fine. All of me." He gave me a pained smile but seemed a little better.

"Thank you." He whispered.

"Would you like to…explain things? Our conversation was sort of…interrupted…"

He looked up at me and held my gaze.

"Yes. An explanation is called for at this point, I think. Let's sit." He grabbed my hand and pulled me into his lap, leaning my head on his shoulder. "So, you know I'm a werewolf. Well, there's this rare thing called imprinting…"


	3. Promises

**Disclaimer: I'm not Stephenie Meyer. I don't own any vampires or werewolves or any of the other wonderful things in the Twilight Saga ******

Chapter 3: Promises

Emily POV

"You're tired." Sam whispered. He was right. I was drifting in and out of sleep, my head still on his shoulder, sitting in his lap. I just nodded.

Silently, he picked me up and started carrying me.

"No, no, I can walk." I said trying to break from his hold on me. I just grasped me tighter.

"No, you are in no condition to hike in the forest."

"I hiked in the forest to get to this cliff face." He just scowled at me.

"I'm still carrying you. Just sleep." He soothed.

His pace while walking was a lazy jog until he looked down at me and caught a glimpse of the gashes on my cheek.

"I'm truly sorry about that." He murmured quickening his pace. "I will never forgive myself." He said more to himself than to me.

"Sam, no, I know it was an accident, you are already forgiven." I said.

He smiled a pained smile. "Thank you, though your forgiveness and love is the most important thing to me, I don't think I can live with myself after what I did to you."

I sat up straighter in his arms. "You didn't just imply that you were going to kill yourself, did you?"

He paused before responding, which in itself answered my question. "That was my plan." He said quietly.

I squirmed in his arms until he stopped walking and set me on my feet. "No!" I said and slapped his across the face. Though I felt a stinging in my hand, I kept up my fury at his response. "You will never, ever kill yourself! Especially over me! Promise me you will never kill yourself!" He bent his head and wouldn't look me in the eyes. I slapped his again. "Promise me!"

"I can't." He whispered, still avoiding my gaze. I gripped his shoulders and tried to shake him, though he was too strong for me to budge. Giving up on that I tried to lift his chin with my finger. No such luck. I walked over to a log and sat down, waiting for him to stop his pouting. After a few minutes I turn and see him sitting right next to me and I let out a blood-curdling scream.

"I don't think I'd enjoy it very much if you screamed every time you saw me. That would be very depressing." He smiled sadly.

"I'm sorry." I said still gripping my chest with my now frantic heart. "I didn't hear you move and had no idea you would be _right _next to me." He gave me a genuine smile for the first time.

"Sorry, I'm much more graceful now. Would you like me to be more noisy next time?" He said still smiling.

"Does that mean there _will_ be a next time?" I asked, hopeful he'd promise me he wouldn't kill himself. His smile faded and he looked down again.

"I want to promise you. I want to stay with you forever. But every time I look at you I'd be reminded of what I did and I'd feel such strong remorse the suicidal feeling would come flooding back."

"Are you saying you never want to see me again?" I asked in more pain now than earlier today. (or was it yesterday? Time stands still when I'm with Sam. I wonder why that is…)

"No! God, no! I'd be with you everyday all day of you'd let me! But you'd get tired of me and I couldn't live without you."

"So, you're saying you'll kill yourself if I don't love you." I was confused.

"No! Ugh! God, this is coming out wrong! I would _never_ force that decision upon you. I'm saying that I know you don't like me like that and I'll have to make some…decisions once you're safe." He said hesitantly.

"I don't think so." I said, crossing my arms.

"Huh?" He asked, confused.

"You will not be making any kind of those 'decisions'. Ever. Not for me, not for you, not for anyone. Ev-er."

"Emily, we'll talk about this later. We need a doctor to see you. We wouldn't want you to get an infection, and I'm sure all our sitting around talking has made you loose a lot of blood." He said picking me up again and started walking.

I sighed but knew this conversation was far from over, so that comforted me slightly. This was fight Sam was not going to win.


	4. Explanations

**Disclaimer: I'm not Stephenie Meyer. I don't own any part of the Twilight Saga. **

Chapter 4: Explanations

Emily POV

I woke up to a slight tugging sensation on my left cheek. I turned away and the tugging turned to pain.

"No, no, Emily, hold still while he finishes the stitches." A female voice said. My hearing was off but I could tell the voice's source was right next to my head. I also felt something squeeze my hand. Another hand? Yes, someone was squeezing my hand in comfort.

I turned my head again to where I heard the voice.

"Stop moving, Emily. He's almost done. You can hold still for a few more minutes. It shouldn't hurt." I opened my eyes and saw that Leah was the female voice that had spoken. Next to her was a surprisingly handsome, young doctor.

"This is Dr. Cullen, Emily. He's the best." Leah said with a wink.

"Where's Sam?" I asked. Leah's face turned dark.

"How should I know? I don't keep tabs on him and what he does every second of everyday. He bolted as soon as he found out you were being taken care of by a doctor. Why?" She sneered.

I looked down, somewhat ashamed that I hadn't thought through that question very well. "Sorry, Leah. I didn't mean…I'm sorry." I still looked down.

"I know, Emily. _You_ did nothing wrong." She was still fuming.

I decided for a subject change.

"So…am I going to survive, Doc?" I asked, trying to keep my tone light but knowing I failed miserably. The doctor saw through it, I could tell by the way he looked at me, but he just smiled.

"Yes, you'll live, I promise. Those will turn into nasty scars, though. I'm sorry, I can't really help that." He said. I smiled though I hurt. "Careful, you wouldn't want to pull your stitches."  
"Sorry. How long do I have to have stitches?" I asked.

"A month at least. You'll have to wrap your arm too so you don't get an infection." Dr. Cullen said. He hesitated before continuing. "Can I ask what happened?" He asked. Leah leaned forward, more interested.

This question surprised me. Wouldn't Sam have made something up and told them already? Maybe they were checking to make sure our stories were the same. But why wouldn't they believe Sam? Did they think he did this to me? He did, but not how they would think. I must protect Sam, but first I need to know how much they knew.

"Didn't Sam tell you?" I asked innocently.

"Nope. He barged in, demanded that you needed a doctor. Didn't say anything at all besides "Call the hospital now". I can't believe you slept through all that. He wouldn't talk or put you down. Twenty minutes later Dr. Cullen arrived. Sam threw you down on the bed and booked it out the door. He wouldn't answer any of our questions. He said you'd explain everything if you wanted to." Leah responded, snarky through it all.

Did he want me to tell them all the truth? Even if he did I wouldn't.

"A bear." I said simply. They seemed surprised by this answer (what were they thinking I was going to say?). At least Dr. Cullen did.

"A bear?" Dr. Cullen asked.

"Yes." The less I said, hopefully the less likely they could see through the lie.

Leah seemed to buy it though. "Why were you out hiking in an area you didn't know, Emily? You could have asked me to come with you, I don't know the forest best, but I know it better than you." She said much more kind.

"I know, I just had to take a walk and I wasn't paying attention to where I was going until it started to rain. That's when I saw the bear cub." I remembered that mother bears get pissed when you go near their cubs. God, I hope they believe this. "I…I took a few steps closer to the cub. Then the cub's mother came from behind me. The cub ran up a tree and the…mother attacked me." My voice cracked at the end because of it being a lie but Leah thought it was because I was upset about the traumatic incident. Perfect.

"Shh, shh, it's okay, you're okay now Emily, you'll be fine." She comforted. She turned to Dr. Cullen when he cleared his throat.

"Om my way back to the hospital I can stop by the police station and request for them to put up a bear-sighting notice."

"That would be great, thank you Dr. Cullen." Leah responded. The doctor turned to me then.

"I just would need to know where you saw the bear. Do you know where you were?"

I thought for a minute. "I know I was at least 2 miles into a forest. I don't know which direction. You can ask Sam, he's the one that found me." I suggested. I didn't have to break Dr. Cullen's gaze to know that Leah stiffened and squeezed my hand tighter.

"…I…don't know how much he'd appreciate it if I called him. Would you?" The doctor fidgeted.

"Ummm…yeah, I can call him. Leah, do you have his number?" I hated asking her but I knew I had to.

"Yes." She got up to get the phone, punched in his number and handed me the phone. "I don't think he'll answer though. Ever since those days where he just disappeared, he hasn't been home very often." As if just to contradict her, he answered on the first ring.

"Hello?" His voice shook.

"Sam?" My voice came out breathless.

"Emily! You're okay! Right? Are you okay?"

"Yes, yes, I'm perfectly fine. Dr. Cullen just wants to know where you found me so he can report it at the police station."

"Dr. Cullen?" He sneered.

"Yes…" I waited for him to answer.

"Can I ask you something first?"

"Of course."

"Why didn't you tell them the truth? Why didn't you tell them what I was and that I did that to you? I left that open for you to do." I thought for a second how to word my answer without making Leah or Dr. Cullen suspicious.

"Because that's not what happened."

"Actually, it is."

"No. A bear did it. You know that." Leah shot me a confused look and Dr. Cullen looked at me knowingly. That was my cue to wrap up the conversation before he could voice what he seemed to know. But how could he…? "Sam? Where did you find me?"

He hesitated again.

"Put him on." Sam said quietly. It seemed as though the doctor heard him though because he held his hand out, which I put the phone in Dr. Cullen didn't have to say anything and it only took five short seconds for him to hand the phone back to me.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Sam asked.

"Yes, I'm sure. There's no need to worry about me, Sam, I'll live. You better too." Leah did a double take. Maybe I shouldn't have said that…

"For at least tonight I will. Like I said, this conversation can wait until later, maybe when you're feeling better or are more sure of your sentiments."

I just sighed. We shouldn't have to discuss the issue of his suicide at all. He shouldn't even be thinking about it. But he was right that a conversation that heavy should wait until I know exactly what all my feelings were. Because at this point, I was so unsure, that I actually considered the possibility I cared more for Sam than I thought


	5. Confrontations

**Disclaimer: I'm not Stephenie Meyer and don't own any part of the Twilight Saga**

**A/N: Sorry this is kinda late (compared to the other chapters where I basically got one out everyday). I just had freshman orientation :O and I'm trying to finish my summer homework (I know, I procrastinated WAY too much…but I'm getting it done). Just a warning, I'm going on vacation Monday – Wednesday so I won't have the next (AND LAST) chapter out before then. OK! ON WITH THE SHOW!**

Chapter 5: Confrontations

Emily POV

For the next few weeks everything went back to normal. Well, as normal as it could get. People stared, asked questions, and I had to blink back tears more often than I would have liked. But then I remembered who I would hurt if I showed any pain or weakness. Sam. I stayed strong because he had to stay strong.

I tried talking to him on more than one occasion about that much needed discussion but he'd avoid the topic like the plague saying that I had to get my feelings toward him in order first. He was probably waiting for the second I decided I hated him and wanted him to jump in front of a train or something. But my feelings were moving in the exact opposite direction. I could never hate him, I could just enjoy his company more and more.

Even though he avoided the one conversation that we truly had to have, we talked night and day about everything and anything. From his friends in school and the trouble they'd get in, to his aspirations and hopes for the future.

"Just protecting La Push and all humans." He would say.

"From what? The big bad druggies?" I snickered.

"Well, I can take care of them easily enough. But no, I was made to protect humans from something much worse; Vampires." Of course that would start a whole new round of questions. He couldn't tell me everything about that subject, he hadn't had to kill one yet. But he was looking forward to when he did. I didn't like that idea very much.

He seemed to be so open with me; he'd tell me anything. He'd answer and question I asked and some I didn't.

And the way he looked at me! Not to sound conceited, but he looked at me like I was his whole world, like he'd die without me.

Unfortunately I wasn't the only one who had noticed.

"What the hell, Emily?" Leah cornered me one day.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"You know what." Leah spat. I just sighed in response. "How can you do this to me? I still love him, Emily. With all my heart. I never stopped. We were in love! He threw that all away, that was his fault. But you. You stole what I had left. I saw that he was suffering. Just a little, but he was suffering. Then you came. You made him happier. Well, not at first. At first it made him worse, which I loved. But then you actually started talking to him after he saved you. You made him happy, Emily! You stole what I had left! When he was suffering, I knew that he still loved me a little, otherwise he'd be partying it up or something. So with his moping I knew he still cared for me. YOU STOLE THAT AWAY FROM ME, EMILY! I still fricken love him! Do you know how hard it is to say that?" By the end she was at my feet sobbing. I knelt down next to her.

"Shh, shh. I'm so sorry. I'm not trying to fall for him, I'm just trying to comfort him. And listen to yourself; you said I made him happier. Then I'm doing what I've been trying to." She jumped up and let out a war-cry worthy screech.

"Fall for him?! You're _falling for him_?!"

I slowly stood up, not meeting her gaze.

"Fell." I said softly.

"Excuse me?" She hissed. Maybe I shouldn't have said that.

"I…I love him." Another war-cry screech was sounded. "I'm sorry-" I was interrupted by a backhand t my right side that made me fly across the floor to the ground. At least it was my right side, I had a feeling that that would be the only pity I would receive from Leah. I felt my stitches to make sure they were all still there. They were.

"Get out of my house Emily. Don't come back." I heard her turn on her heel and storm out the back door.

I got up, packed all my things and dialed a number I now knew by heart.

He always answered on the first ring. I once asked him about that. He said if it was me, he never wanted me to go to voicemail in case it was important.

"Emily?"

"Hey Sam." I said sadly.

"What's wrong?" Concern colored his tone.

"Leah kicked me out."

"What." The way he said it made it more of a snarl and less like a question.

"It's okay, I wouldn't want to overstay my welcome. Can you dive me home? Back to the Makah Reservation? You don't have to, I can find a ride from someone else if you can't."

"No." He snarled again.

"That's okay, I can call someone else. Thank you anyway Sam." I said sincerely. I wouldn't make him give me a ride. I was getting ready to hang up.

"No, no, Emily that's not what I meant. I meant you're not going back to the Makah Reservation. Your home is here. The people who love you are here." He said tenderly.

"But I don't have anywhere to stay."

"Yes you do." He said like I was missing something obvious.

"No, Sam, Leah kicked me out." I felt like I was talking to a preschooler.

"You can stay with me." Those five words made my heart leap.

"For how long? A week?" I asked.

" For forever." He said it so sincerely, for a minute I actually believed that I _could_ stay with Sam forever, and it made me happy. But then I remembered where I was and that might not have been the best idea.

"We don't need to piss Leah off more than she already is." I said, even to myself I sounded disappointed.

"Are you refusing my offer because of Leah or because you don't want to?" Sam asked.

"Leah." I said quickly before I could think about the consequences to that answer.

"Then it's settled. Emily, my new roommate."

"But-"

"Emily, let's make a deal. You agree to move in with me and we can have that conversation that you've been dying to have with me. If, let's say a week later, you really hate it, I can drive you up to the Makah Reservation." I paused, thinking about it.

"Deal?" He asked. I honestly loved the idea of living with him.

"Deal."


	6. Decisions

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the Twilight Saga, no lies.**

**A/N: Aaaw, the ending. Hope y'all like it :) **

Chapter 6: Decisions

Emily POV

All my stuff (which was one suitcase) was put away and Sam and I were sitting down to have out much needed discussion. Especially since I now knew my feelings; they were loud and clear. My last confrontation with Leah forced the walls down in my mind that blocked my feelings from my sense, which, at the time, wanted to appease Leah, or at least not piss her off. But my feelings wanted – needed – Sam. Why? After I had so clearly despised him? Honestly, it was the way he looked at me, the way he fawned over me. The was he beat himself up because he hurt me (no, I'm not sadistic, just that I loved how he cared that much). Well, that's what started it. But I soon realized how perfect Sam was. He was caring, kind, whole-hearted, tender, warm, loving, the list goes on. He was my kind of man. I adored him.

And I needed to tell him all of this. Before he made that 'decision' he had mentioned in the forest. Now was the time.

"Sam-"

"Emily-" We started at the same time. "Sorry, go ahead." He looked down shyly.

I waited a minute to proceed.

"You're not going to kill yourself." I stated. We had to get this out of the way before I declare myself.

"No, I'm not." Well, that was easy.

"Wha…?" It was the answer I was hoping for, but not the one I was expecting.

He chuckled at my confused expression. "I couldn't now. Literally, I think. I donestly don't know how to kill myself. I heal too fast to jump off a building or to get hit by a bus or something. That also means I can't slice my wrists or anything."

"Would you have killed yourself if you knew how?" I asked, relieved yet still disappointed that he still wanted to, he just physically couldn't.

"No, even if I knew how I wouldn't. This place needs a protector, and for now I'm all they've go. The others should be along shortly though, Jared or Paul next…not Jacob yet though…but he will eventually, he'll do great things…" He said the last half of all that more to himself than to me. My disappointment was even greater. It had nothing to do with me after all…

My disppointment must have shown on my face because Sam turned to me full on, grasped my hands in his. And chuckled. Not what I expected…

"Do you _want_ me to kill myself?" He asked still laughing.

"Your laughter proves that isn't a serious question, you know the answer is no."

"Then why are you so sad?"

"Well…" Okay. Here goes nothing… "I thought for a second you might want to live…for me…" I looked down, ashamed.

Boisterous laughing shook the couch.

"Sam?" I was confused.

"Of course I want to live for you, you silly woman! I just didn't want to force my adoration on you until you knew what you felt. I wanted to wait until you said those three little words first."

"But you said those 'three little words' to me, in the forest."

"Yes, I did. But you didn't love me then, did you? In fact, you hated me. I was too forward, too earnest for you to stop loathing me and to start loving me. I promised myself I would wait for you."

That humbled me. Quite a bit. He continued.

"Emily, I can't kill myself because that would hurt you. I'm not flattering myself, I just know you. You would feel guilty, you would feel like it would've been your fault. It wouldn't've been but that's what you would've thought." He said.

"You are so sure of yourself, it's so cute." I said, shaking my head but laughing.

"Are you saying you still hate me?" He asked with mock surprise.

"If I hated you, would I do this?" With that I leaned in, as he did. An inch apart, he heisitated. I wasn't having any of _that_! I closed the gap between us. The kiss was soft, but he was so warm! My lips were on fire – and I loved it. I pulled back, though. Deeper kisses would wait until we were officially together. But we would be together. I felt bad for throwing away my relationship with Leah, but I couldn't deny my heart. Because I knew that I loved Sam. It was new, unexplored, my first, but it was there, and it was love.

"Sam. I love you." I said quietly. I wasn't exactly a romantic…

"I love you too, Emily, more than you can imagine." He said back, smiling softly but sincerely.

"This means you can't ever leave, buster. That includes dying." I said wagging my finger at him. He laughed and kissed the finger.

"Never, not before you."

"I'm staying with you forever, Sam, now you're stuck with me."

"Forever." He agreed, and leaned in to finish our kiss.


End file.
